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This week's Q&A focuses on what to do if a woman doesn't return your calls, dealing with insecure women, and asking women out on lunch dates. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.
Should a man keep calling a woman who doesn't return his phone calls?

Look, in the book The Rules (the one that teaches women how to play games to get a man to marry them), the authors recommend that women not call men, and rarely return men's calls.

So don't worry about it.

Some guys don't like to call women more than once or twice, but I ask you this:

What is there to lose?

If you have to call her once a week for five weeks until you get a hold of her, what have you wasted?

Five extra minutes dialing her number? So what?

Now, if you're feeling like a needy little puppy, and you're calling her five times a day trying to get a hold of her, that's a different story.

As long as you're getting on with your life, keeping busy and dating other women, then keep trying until you reach her.

I'll personally keep calling a woman until either:
  •    She tells me to stop calling her (which has never happened)
  •    I get too busy to care anymore (which happens all the time)
  •    I set up a meeting with her

What is the best thing for a guy to do if a woman he is dating starts getting insecure? Should he reassure her that he is into her and take the chance of acting like a wuss?

Okay, I'm going to address this one because it's also relevant to guys who have only gone out with a woman a few times and the woman is already acting this way.

A few observations:
1. Insecurity is a problem that she already has. It just so happens that your behaviors are allowing you to see it sooner than most guys would.

2. It's almost always good when the woman you're dating knows that other women are attracted to you.

3. You should not change your behavior to suit a woman. In other words, if it's natural for you to talk to women, then talk to them. If you're only doing it to make her jealous, then this is probably an insecure behavior on your part.

I've personally found that if I start to tell a woman, "Oh, baby, you're the only one for me and I want to be with you forever and ever, and you should feel secure in the relationship no matter what," the only thing it accomplishes is her seeing me as a wuss bag.

If she isn't secure in herself, then she's not going to be secure in the relationship...  and there's probably not much you can do about that except hope that she grows out of it.

I think that most of us guys know where the line between "reassuring the woman we love that we're in this for the long term" and "giving up our power" is.

Just don't cross the line.

Is it okay for a guy to ask a woman out on a lunch date?

When you "ask a woman out on a date," you're basically saying, "Hi, I'm interested in you in a romantic way, and I'd like to buy you some food so you'll think of me as a wonderful provider, and then maybe we can go out on some more dates that I'll pay for and then get into a relationship... and if I'm lucky, you'll accept me."

Duh.


Instead of asking a woman out to lunch, tell her, "Hey, I'm going to get a cup of tea. Come along and entertain me. And I don't mean with that usual boring stuff that you talk about."

It sounds to me like you're probably leaning into women and putting strange emotional pressure on them in a very subtle way when you're "asking them out."

Stop that!

Lean back, and use what you're learning here from me.

This article is sponsored in part by DoubleYourDating.com
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