Women have fought for more influence in the workplace (and bedroom) over the past decades. Some of them have fought hard and achieved tremendous success. Women, however, define success in many ways. For some, a colour-coordinated closet stocked with designer labels is a big achievement, while others find success in being a good listener to their friends’ problem.
And then, there’s another breed that whips your ass in the corporate world, dominating and commanding both in the office and bedroom. They thrive in the business world and strut in sharp Armani suits. They rise to the top as marketing directors, editors of popular magazines, or CEOs of multinational companies. They are the Women on Top. And although this kind seem to be the most intimidating of all, there’s no denying the allure of these powerful women.
So let’s face it: The idea that women figure things out better than we do is daunting. Whether you are hooked to a woman on top and don’t know how to handle her, or you’re a guy who’s interested in finding one, we clearly need some help when dealing with this type of woman. So what gives? The Menknowpause team talks to some lads and found out that what should really scare us is our own fear that prevents us from some great experiences with these alpha female types. Read on!
The Mind Game
When pursuing successful women, take a look at yourself and think how you would like to be approached. You have to understand that these women, regardless of their aggressive nature have fought their way up to the top in what is presumed a male-dominated corporate world.
Successful women don’t get to where they are by being overly compromising about their careers. It isn’t surprising that they are more pragmatic than other women in general. These women are fully capable of doing things for themselves, but just like you, they too enjoy some attention once in a while. Although they may appear as major powerhouses, they are still women and want to be treated as such. If you’re merely trying to win a date with a successful woman, or you’re actually interested in developing a serious relationship with her, don’t be afraid to be one who wears the pants.
A simple gentlemen's gesture such as offering her your jacket, holding the door for her, or picking her up for a date still works, but here’s the key: take such opportunity to make her feel pretty and special. Chances are you'd get the “I can open the door myself” response, but as TV producer Elle Chang puts it, “We would appreciate it if a guy does it genuinely.” You’ve dated women before, you know what they want -- just relax and have fun.
The Word Game
As you know by now, women talk. They’re designed that way. The difference between regular woman and this alpha female breed is that the latter talk about things that you and your buddies talk about. Not really the football or threesome fantasies, but more on cars, watches, property, stocks, investments, market prices, economy, career advancements, and other things that men are expected to plan and provide their future families with.
So get this: Showing some interest in what she does is crucial, even if you have no clue what business she's involved in. Listen and ask questions - this rule remains even if you have been dating for a while now. Roslinda Nor, a Publicist puts it in perspective, “We spend a great deal of their time at work. For us, to know our career is, to a great extent, is to know us.”
That however doesn’t necessarily mean that they love passive, spineless men. In fact, according to Caroline Fernandez, “Silent partners are the worst dates!” Caroline points out that women actually expect you to be responsive and talk about your career too. They will embrace your views and opinions and feel that you're both on par with each other's level of interest.
If your career tales aren't as exciting as hers, be cool and never feel inferior about it. Remember that not many people want to date somebody who’s intimidated by them, and even fewer want to date somebody who lacks confidence, unless you are insecure and need someone as insecure as you. No matter how formidable she may appear, take the reigns and talk to her. Be sure of who you are and what you say. Speak your mind, be honest, and engage her in a conversation about things that matter to you: books, movies, sports or even politics.
Caroline asserts that successful women like other women alike, want to be treated like an attractive woman. What frustrates her is, “When a man is always in awe of me, or most likely my career, it is just unsexy. I mean, if he can’t handle me during a dinner conversation, how would he handle me in bed?” You get it now?
The Physical Game
Female go-getters spend their time efficiently. And since it isn’t exactly easy for them to win us over with their intelligence and successful careers, many of them try to steal our attention the classic way: Staying slim and sexy. Hence, the gym.
According to fitness instructor Joanne Chai, one of the most popular places to find powerful people these days are the gym – and that includes the alpha female breed. Joanne claims that women who have control of their careers tend to also be ones who have control of their lives and bodies, and like to stay fit and healthy. Which also says a lot about their stamina in the bedroom.
Just like us, alpha female live life in the fast lane. They squeeze their brain juices and shed sweats the way you do. They seem to have the balance men have been trying to achieve in the office, the gym and in the bedroom. They get all these under control while walking in their 4-inch heels 10 hours a day. Naturally when you meet a woman like this you’ll let her lead the way in the bedroom. And let us be the one to tell you little poor dominatrix admirers: just because they are in charge in the office and are fully energized in the gym, it doesn’t mean they like to ass whoop you. Chances are she’s in control all day long so she might not mind being taken care of at the end of the day.
Take a load off her shoulders by being the one to decide the evening's agenda, and you’ll be surprised of how obedient she can be.
The Restricted Area
Don’t be afraid to make a decision when pursuing successful women. Indeed, they are most-likely more substantial than your regular air-headed hotties. Understand that although she may be used to her own ways and activities, she will appreciate your manly decisions. But do not take advantage of this situation, as being with powerful women mean a lot of compromise and joint decision-making. Never force her to agree with you all the time, and sacrifice her time at work or the gym, because she may have other priorities in her life which she lives by. As Marketing Director of a consumer product, Elle Chan’s shares, “If you're involved with a woman with a high-powered job, don’t try to make her choose between you or her career, or change her lifestyle to suit yours, because you may just lose. She's independent and will have no issues leaving you” That’s the hard fact, fellas.
If over decades, women have progressed so much, would you agree that it is time for us to prove we are still real men?