There are many sexual options that don’t include penetration. And these options can be so good that everybody should add more penetration-free erotic play into their sexual repertoire.
It is a common and slowly changing misconception that ”proper” sex requires intercourse. This simply isn’t true. You may think it's bullshit but it really isn't. Get this: as sexual beings, we have a huge range of satisfying stimulation and sexual play to choose from without resorting to penetration to finish off. Most of us are well-versed in the act of sexual intercourse because it is simple and easy, and as result, it saves time and effort. However, good sex takes both time and effort, so don’t scrimp on your sex life. Take your time and the rewards shall be yours.
Remember: delicious sex comes in many shapes and forms. Save the penetration for another day, and delve deeper into sexual play and intimacy with your girl with some of these activities. Challenge yourself by creating a sensual environment where both of you can try new things and practice other erotic activities.
Dirty talk and erotic storytelling A dirty story is a fun and sexy way to spend time with your lover, and it may provide you both with some new ideas and a bit of mental stimulation. A story can be told almost anywhere: in the car, over the phone, via e-mail or letter, or even in bed. If you’re not comfortable making up stories on the fly, find a magazine or website that has fiction that suits your tastes and read it to your partner. Keep in mind that females prefer lots of foreplay, especially in their imaginations. A story that heads straight for intercourse is the same as in real life, and it probably won’t get the desired result. The story is just a story for its own sake; there doesn’t have to be an “ending” or an orgasm for either of you. It is simply a very enjoyable way to share sex, perhaps without even touching each other. Sensual massage Massaging your partner is among the most coveted activities in a relationship. A sensual massage, however, is a slightly different kettle of fish because it is relaxing and sexually stimulating at the same time.
There are very few rules to giving a sensual massage, but generally, slow and sexy movements are key. Take your time, use a scented essential oil that has aphrodisiac properties, such as ylang-ylang, and keep the lights low. Glide over her skin using firm but gentle pressure with your hands or whichever body part you want to use, such as arms, chest, stomach, legs or feet. Just make sure to cover every inch of her body and avoid her hot spots until the final act. The idea is to make her want you to touch her hot spots. Take your time and create anticipation, and she surely will want your touch.
Touching each others’ bodies releases mood-enhancing endorphins, and no matter what happens afterward, the body feels good simply for having been nourished from the outside in. Also, don’t expect a sensual massage in return; it’s the last thing you feel like doing after receiving one.
Role playing and costumes When it comes to sex, role playing gives us more options; if you are normally quite reserved, you can live a little and be a bit more daring. If your girl is normally shy, she can unleash the dominatrix within. The personas we can morph into with erotic role play allow us to significantly expand our boundaries. Your girlfriend may not like being tied up as “herself,” but her exotic dancer alter ego might love it. With some creative role play, our rigid rules can change.
Role playing becomes even more exciting if you include costumes; women love dressing up. Costumes give us the opportunity to actually get into character, which releases many of our inhibitions. Role playing with costumes is fun, entertaining and liberating. You can get into all sorts of debauchery when you are not really yourself.
Phone sex This is an old favorite, and it is very useful if you and your lover have to be apart. Of course, since getting off with your girl on the phone is a really fun and dirty way to play, you don’t have to actually be too far apart; separate rooms will suffice. Our aural senses are very sensitive to erotic sounds; as a result, panting, heavy breathing and moans trigger a heightened sexual response. Phone sex also allows a bit more freedom because you are alone and can therefore do as you please as far as masturbation goes. Physically, the pressure is off since she is responsible for herself and you for yourself. The topics you choose to discuss are up to you, but unless she starts it, stay away from anything involving family members, animals (don’t even go there) and other women that you fantasize about.
Mutual masturbation This is one of the sexiest and most intimate things you can do with a lover, though the situation has to be right and you both have to be comfortable with each other. Getting yourself off in front of another person is not always easy, but it is very enjoyable once you’re in the swing of things. The key is to be uninhibited, though overcoming this can be part of the thrill. Give her the time and space she needs, and do the same for yourself. If you feel nervous, take your time to become comfortable. If it’ll help, light a candle and drink some wine. Making love without touching another person is a strangely delicious experience. Mutual masturbation can be a combined effort, and it helps to give and receive visual and vocal stimulation. There are no rules (except no penetration); so play and be played.