As horny bastards we try to come up with new ways of enticing our women into doing new and different things. Halloween costumes are not only sexy, but something about shagging your lady in it is thrilling. Here’s how we should be sexing up the Halloween season.

1.    Costume Sex

Dressing up in your Halloween best is a turn on because it feels as if you’re shagging a stranger. Try to wear something sexy and not a cartoon outfit – unless that’s the way she rolls.

2.    Role Play

While having sex try to get her to act out a scene with you. You could be a vampire and she a helpless woman. Or she could be Medusa and you her victim. Get her to scream as much as she wants

3.    Outdoor Mess

Gather a bunch of leaves and create an area that looks like a deserted gravesite. Lure your victim to that area and have a rustling shag on the leaves. When you’re done, the leaves will help you clean up your mess.

4.    Pumpkin Head

Jack-o’-lanterns are supposed to act as guides for lost spirits in the night. But in our twisted minds, they act as beacons for downright nasty things. While your girl is painting her face with orange and black makeup, you’ll cut a hole in a box to act as the table. Your girl will kneel down with her pumpkin-looking head poking out of the hole. You’ll stand in front of her, aim for the gaping black grin and put a candle of a different kind into the mouth of this jack-o’-lantern.

5.    Witches’ Brew

This stuff probably doesn’t turn you on. But here for Halloween is a sexy Witches' Brew. Though swingers would probably have an easier time accomplishing this one, a drunk girlfriend and the girl she kissed in college should suffice. The key to this position is all in the set up (and the alcohol): Fill a hot tub with brown food coloring, novelty eyeballs, Gothic candles, and two revved-up bisexual females. The bonus in this one is post-Witches’ Brew shower, in which you’ll either get to clean your partners or sit back and watch evil take its course.