In Western cultures, having loads of self-esteem is considered the bedrock of individual success. The logic goes that you can't possibly get ahead in life unless if you truly believe you are perfectly awesome. Unfortunately, this might be the wrong approach to truly achieving success for yourself.
Recent reviews of the research on high self-esteem might reveal that all this ego boosting might not be all it's cracked up to be. The reason is because high self-esteem does not predict better performance or greater success; it does not make you a more effective leader, a more appealing lover, more likely to lead a healthy lifestyle, or more attractive and compelling in an interview.
So if deluding yourself into thinking that you're awesome is not the answer to all your problems, what is? Latest research from Berkley suggests that focusing on more self-compassion instead of self-esteem in order to unlock your true potential for greatness. The findings showed that people who experienced self-compassion were more likely to see their weaknesses as changeable, and actually increased their motivation to improve and avoid the same mistake again in the future. This increased motivation lead to demonstrably superior performance.
So why is the practice of being self-compassionate more powerful? Mainly because it allows you to really confront your flaws by putting aside your ego. This allows you to get a more realistic sense of your abilities and your actions, and figure out what needs to be done differently next time. Take note that this is not the same thing
as making excuses or lowering the bar for yourself, so you can be
still be self-compassionate while still accept responsibility for
Self-compassion is a willingness to look at your own mistakes and
shortcomings with kindness and understanding instead of self-loathing. It's about embracing the fact that we all make mistakes every now and then. By practicing this, you can reduce the anxiety and depression and instead focus on what really counts in life.