My first primal response to eating, the thing that hit my taste buds and the lizard part of my brain was…

Russian Dressing!? That’s the special sauce? What a let down, also what a quick reminder that I haven’t had russian dressing since I discovered blue cheese/sour cream/chipotle mayo. Luckily the entire pizza wasn’t doused in it, so it was very edible. Despite there being an abundance of veggies on this. I want a pizza with cheese and beef! I didn’t think I would get all that lettuce and tomato too (I may have detected some pickles on the pizza, and that I was VERY ok with). If I wanted veggies, I probably would have ordered something else.

The pizza was thin-crust, which I was not expecting. I thought it would be a deep-dish filled with goodness like the Stuffed Crust Pizzas of yore. Also, as you can expect, the pizza looked nothing like the pizza I saw in the commercial. It was smaller, thinner, and all around greyer.

I hammered down slices and it was definitely good, in an over-indulging type way. The beef was sweet which gave it a sausage-y vibe (something I am told I have as well). I couldn’t finish the pie, my body was going into lack of sleep/ODing on sodium mode. All I could think about was how tired and how thirsty I was and how ridiculous this whole thing was.